Life In Perspective

I sit here writing this at the center of my universe, as you sit there, reading it, at the center of yours.  We all feel separate from everyone else, in our own heads.  Even with the person closest to us, we cannot truly see the world through their eyes, or experience it from their center.  Each one of us feels special.  But there will be billions more people that live after we have died, each the center of their own universe, in 100 years, 1,000 years, in 100,000 years.  We’re just one of those grains of sand on the vast beach of history. 

With a few exceptions, all of us will be forgotten.  There are just a tiny number of remembered people in history, maybe a hundred that each of us could name, compared to the number of all people who have ever lived.  Even most of our American presidents will be forgotten in the next 100 years.  The celebrities our culture obsesses over will certainly not be remembered within a few hundred years.  And even if we were one of those few that were, does it matter after we’ve passed away and are unaware of it?

When I read about ancient times, experiencing what it must have been like to live in that time, it hits me that our current civilization is not very different from that civilization that existed 5,000 or 1,000 years ago.  When they were living, they felt they were the most advanced society.  They were on the forefront of technological development just like we are.  We are, right now, the ancient Egypt of some future civilization, if we’re lucky.  We may not even be one of those defining cultures that earn an entire chapter in the history books of the future.

Each generation’s youth feels they are at the top of the world, the top of their time, as if time will somehow end in their lifetime.  They look at old people with pity, as if they will never be old.  Time seems to move very slowly when we’re young.  We feel this way certainly through our 20’s and 30’s.  Later in life, as we age, we come to understand the cycle of life as we, at 50 years old, see younger people look at us the way we once looked at people in their 50’s.  Those kids will soon be 50 themselves and there will be a new batch of 20-year-olds to replace them, and so on, and so on. In the big scheme of things, we’re all relatively the same age, because this one life is so short compared to all of time.  Heck, the age of all mankind is just a blink of an eye in comparison to the age of our universe.

With all of this in mind, why do we sweat the small stuff the way we do, get so caught up in the drama of daily life?  Most of us feel blessed to live in this advanced and thriving country.  But should we envy the tribes people in primitive places that have such simple lives?   Most people hate the way they spend half their waking hours for 50 years of their lives.  This seems crazy when you remember the fragility of life, the fact that we’re a dot on the timeline of this tiny blue spec of a planet hurling through space at an inconceivably fast speed in a vast galaxy in an ever-expanding universe.

It may seem morbid to consider death, but it is only in an effort to accept what is true, and, as a consequence, have a more meaningful existence.  How would we live our lives differently if we reflected on this every single morning?  Would we quit our jobs?  Leave an abusive marriage? Tell someone you love them? Go on a trip? Join a monastery?  Try to squeeze every ounce of pleasure and joy possible out of this existence?  I believe the litmus test is the question “do I enjoy this?”  But how do we balance basic needs for food and shelter, physical comfort, with the enjoyment of life? 

The Dalai Lama says that the only purpose of life is to find happiness for ourselves.  Far from being selfish, this is the path to being more generous, more loving, and making more of a positive difference in this world.  But happiness or enjoyment do not simply mean the pursuit of empty pleasures. It means experiencing true joy and inner peace on a regular basis, feeling comfortable in our skin in any situation, liking and loving ourselves and other people.

We can design our lives with intention each and every day, asking the questions, “What aspects of my life do I honestly enjoy and not enjoy?  What obligations should be eliminated if I disregard hollow cultural pressures?”  But we cannot eliminate everything in life that we don’t enjoy.  There are some things we must do that are not enjoyable in the moment that bring us growth and enjoyment, happiness, or peace of mind in the future. 

The Meaning of Life is So Simple: It’s to Live!

I was recently watching a Joseph Campbell DVD called The Power of Myth, and something Joseph Campbell said really got through to me.  For the past 30 years, I've spent so much time and energy pondering, even struggling with, what the MEANING OF LIFE is.  And it's simply to EXPERIENCE the rapture of this amazing life of ours.  That's it.  I don't need to worry about leaving my mark, bettering the world, how I should be of service, my spiritual evolution, the afterlife and the in-between lives, mankind's place in the vast cosmos or our future, what we can learn from history, etc.  I need to simply experience which really means FEEL.  The joy, the pain, the sorrow, the pleasure, the hilarious, the morose, the fun, the excitement, the scary the camaraderie, the connection with others, the love.  Focus on THIS lifetime, on THIS year, on THIS week, on THIS Day, and the rest will take care of itself.  Being happy and present is the best thing I can do for the planet and mankind.  I had read this exact thing in a Dali Lama book many years ago, but I didn't really believe it then.  The whole point of his book was that being happy was the purpose of life, and that happy people are compassionate and their positivity radiates outwards to organically change the world in a positive way.  It was too simplistic for me plus I didn't really know how to be happy at the time.  Beyond just the individual reasons for simply experiencing the rapture of life, the world needs that more than it needs another brooding philosopher-artist.

Architectural Design That Supports a Spiritual Practice

Frank Lloyd Wright used the term “organic” to describe his architecture over one hundred years ago.  He also put a capital “N” on Nature and called it his god.  Today, with the recent popularity of books like The Secret and A New Earth, along with Oprah Winfrey’s “Change Your Life TV,” the middle of our country has started crunching on granola along with us Californians.  Words like “organic,” “natural,” and “sustainable” are now mainstream.

In 1905, Wright designed the Unity Temple for the Unitarian Universalist church, a congregation that does not share one creed but are unified by their shared search for spiritual growth.  If I had to subscribe to a religious label, this would be the one, although I typically prefer to identify as spiritual versus religious.

Religion is largely responsible for great architectural innovation.  With some exceptions, most significant structures of ancient times - pyramids, temples, cathedrals - were built for religious purposes.  Today, architectural innovation is driven by the creed of capitalism and the fanaticism of the sports fan with skyscrapers and sports stadiums serving as our new places of worship.I became a fan of Frank Lloyd Wright and student of spirituality in my teen years, and like many before me, pondered ways to merge my own spiritual beliefs with architectural designs.  Spirituality, in my view, is not something one practices for one hour every Sunday.  Life itself is the spiritual practice.  And where do we spend our lives?  We spend the majority of our time in our homes, and most of our waking hours in the buildings where we work.  Spiritual growth does not typically occur through architecture, but through relationships with God, with others, and with our selves.  Prayer, charity work, meditation, yoga, psychotherapy….these are just a few of the more common paths to the divine.  However, the physical environment influences and affects our behavior and state of mind.

As an architect, my first priority is to help a client define and execute their vision.  Yet, it is difficult to be completely unbiased, and, when a client is open to it, my own ideology influences designs that attempt to foster:·      A sense of inner peace
·      A sense of purpose in life
·      The experience of joy
·      Love for ourselves and others
·      A bond with fellow human beings and nature

To strive for these lofty aspirations, buildings that are functional and aesthetically pleasing are the most obvious answer, as are open, airy, and organized spaces.  It is important to provide the right balance between an open floor plan which offers increased interpersonal interaction and private space necessary for peace of mind.  Incorporating trees and plants as well as natural materials from the immediate environment help provide a sense of connection with nature.  Soothing and energizing colors and patterns can cultivate the feelings of peace, purpose, and joy.  Fountains, ponds, fireplaces, and integrated sound systems can all foster relaxation.

Specifying products and systems that are not harmful to our health should be a basic requirement, yet it is astounding how many toxic materials - paint, lead, asbestos, and other chemicals - exist in our homes and offices.  Joy and peace are difficult to experience when we are not healthy.

Sleeping is central to our physical and emotional well-being.  Creating a very small, separate, soundproof room just large enough for a bed, with the other bedroom furniture and television in an adjacent room, creates a more relaxing sleep space.  With no distractions or clutter in this bed “chamber,” the vital roles of sleeping, dreaming, and bonding are facilitated, and can be further promoted by incorporating an enhancing lighting and sound system. Black-out shades at the windows permit either brightness or total darkness.

Front porches provide a place to sit and connect with neighbors strolling by or coming home from work.  Large windows that face the street have a similar effect.  These days, most people drive into their garage, shut the garage door behind them with the clicker, and enter their house directly from the garage, guaranteeing zero contact with neighbors.  Eliminating the door from the garage directly into the house or separating the garage from the house slightly allows for chance encounters with others in the community as homeowners must leave their garage door open as they unload their car then walk to their front door.  If this is done, it’s important to keep the walkway from the garage to the front door short and protected from the weather by a roof overhang.

In office buildings, gathering spaces, circulation routes, and work areas can be designed to encourage interaction where appropriate, not only bringing people together as fellow human beings, but as co-workers who must communicate to perform their jobs more effectively.  A private napping room allows for contemplation or rejuvenation.

It might seem futile to reach for enlightenment through the design of ordinary and every day spaces.  But a spiritual practice does not only take place in a cathedral or temple.  It takes place in the home, the office, the coffee shop.  More than anywhere, it takes place in the holiest of all places, within ourselves.

Drop The Struggle To Be Brilliant and Change The World

I just finished the book, The Art of Learning, by the world chess and tai chi champion that the movie "Searching for Bobby Fisher" was about. While reading this book, I also attended a lecture by the physicist Lisa Randall.  Both the book author and the physicist seemed brilliant to me.  It's difficult not to compare myself with these people and others and feel like I’m not making enough of a difference in this world.  Yet, I remind myself that we are all part of the same organism.  We are like swirling particles within a larger consciousness, and we can trade places, collide, unite, come apart again, etc.  We are each a tiny cell of a large universe which is trying to know itself, evolving and learning THROUGH US.  Most everyone makes a difference in this grand process even if it's difficult to realize at times.  Like a butterfly whose fluttering wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world, our choices can affect the course of history.  This thought takes some of the pressure off.  I've always felt a restlessness to do something significant with my life, and been stressed that time was running out. But this restlessness, this struggle, is actually counterproductive.  I have a negative impact on the world through this brooding.  Recently, a friend of mine told me that I make a huge impact in his life.  Making a difference in the lives of friends and loved ones is more than enough.  It's only my ego that wants more. 

The Minimalist Life: Own Less. Exercise Less. Do Less. Get Off The Hamster Wheel.

I’ve never been one of those stop-and-smell-the-roses kinds of people.  Obsessed with efficiency, my favorite past time was always checking something off my to-do list so I could move along to the next item.  The “life is a journey, not a destination” philosophy escaped me until my early 40’s, although achieving that goal was also on my to-do list. 

Yet I have always embraced is the idea of minimalism believing you can get more done by streamlining.  Whether it’s in verbal or written communications, architectural or interior design, I’ve strived for efficiency -- the ratio of the effective or useful output to the total input in any system.  I get frustrated seeing people spin their wheels instead of mapping out the critical path and taking it.  I believe we should focus on one or two goals at a time and work towards them right now.  Because life is short. 

For an architect, I’m strangely obsessed with tiny houses on wheels.  I love that every nook and cranny of them is useable by necessity.  I love the idea of living minimally. As I searched for happiness, I ultimately realized the following are good guidelines for a less stressful life.

Buy less. When I first started making decent money in my 20’s, retail therapy was my favorite past time.  After all, Frank Lloyd Wright lived above his means, so why shouldn’t I?  I wanted to reward myself for my 12-hour work days. It took about 10 years to realize that buying and having stuff didn’t make me happy.  Eventually, I had to buy more expensive items to get a quick fix.  Then even a $100,000 car didn’t get me high for more than a few days. Buying things didn’t buy me happiness, and actually caused unhappiness due to the added work and stress that supported my buying habits.

Do less.  Upon learning the “buy-less” lesson, my focus transferred to experiences instead of things, surely a more worthy undertaking.  Again, I used experiences as a reward for the hard work:  vacations, golf, restaurants, concerts… all expensive past-times that required more money, more work.  I was working hard and playing hard, but was I fulfilled?  A lot was getting crammed into this experience called life, but was this really living?  I was too busy, too obligated to plans, and yearned for more time to simply relax and ponder.

Eat less and work out less.  I’ve read a ton about health and fitness.  Along with design and psychology, it’s one of my top interests.  There is a group of people who believe that the process of digestion wears out our bodies significantly more than any other bodily function.  They eat as little as possible and avoid meat in an effort to be kind to their digestive organs and live as long as possible.  I’m not going to lie, they look  a bit emaciated, but the concept is interesting.

I’ve gone through phases where I’ve worked out a lot - about 7 to 10 hours of cardio or weight training per week in a never-ending and misguided attempt to lose a few pounds.  This is an exercise in inefficiency.  All the latest information on weight loss indicates that diet, not exercise, is about 80% responsible for weight loss.  Working out makes me hungry, so I eat more.  And, as with work, I also feel the need to reward myself when I work out.  With what?  With fattening foods (carbs and sugar) that create the need to work out more. 

Here’s the secret to weight loss, at least for me:  Only work out enough to have a strong heart, bones, and muscles.  Don’t work out to lose weight.  Doing 20 minutes of intense cardio plus 20-minutes of intense weight-lifting 2 to 3 times per week is sufficient for good health.  That equals 1-1/2 to 2 hours per week, hardly any time at all, and you’ll have tons of extra time for other things, especially since eating less will also free up your schedule. It’s helpful to go on a work-out fast for a week to kick this off.  Most people try to simultaneously eat less and work out more.  Instead, try eating less and not working out at all for a week.  You won’t be as hungry, and your stomach will shrink in that first week.  Then return to the minimal work-out plan outlined above.

Drinking lots of water is the most significant thing someone can do for good health, yet the constant trips to the restroom have this efficiency-buff unable to fully embrace this agenda.  Having said that, I cannot support a “Drink Less” position, unless we’re speaking of drinking and driving, and if so, consider this…

Drive less.  Many people who drive to a big city for work complain about losing two hours of each day.   Here’s a tip.  Don’t do it.  It’s your choice to live in a suburb and work in the city.  Why not live where you work?  There’s a big migration of suburbanites back into the cities for this very reason. Plus driving less is good for the environment as is the dense and efficient nature of city living.   Transportation accounts for about 30% of greenhouse gas emissions.  Commutes are a big part of that equation.

Los Angelans have a secret.  Outsiders envision that those that live in LA are constantly trapped in traffic.  But LA is actually like a handful of small towns, and many people live in the immediate area where they work, and don’t drive in LA traffic for more than a couple miles.

I’m lucky to live in Santa Barbara, California, a geographically compact town of about 100,000 people.  The population is large enough that it offers everything one could want such as theaters and museums, yet small enough that everything is within a 10-minute drive, or a 30-minute walk.  Granted, Santa Barbara is expensive, but there are many similar cities that are not.  College towns tend to offer this lifestyle.

Many people move to the suburbs because they can get more home for their money.  Homes are more expensive in big cities, because that’s where the lucrative jobs are.  But the money saved on gasoline and car maintenance, not to mention, all the other stuff we do to reward ourselves for the stressful drive will help offset the higher prices of city housing.  Doing away with your car altogether offers even more savings potential.  Most of us use our car only a couple hours per day, and we’d need it even less if we lived in a compact city.  Many big cities provide excellent public transportation and are serviced by car share companies which are convenient and low-cost.  Also, walking and cycling are common modes of transportation in big cities which provides exercise as well.

Or consider these options:

Live in less.  A larger home is yet another rolling snowball which creates the need to work more to pay for more furniture, art, utilities, housecleaning, repairs, etc.

Own less.  I used to think that if someone rented, they were somehow less successful.  It’s actually a lifestyle choice.  Owning a home is not all it’s cracked up to be.  Not only is there the commitment of a large mortgage payment, there is the cost of property taxes, insurance, Home Owner’s Association dues, and repairs, not to mention the time associated with dealing with repairs.  I’ve owned five homes and am still saddled with one.  Why?  Because my accountant told me to.  I made enough money that I needed the tax break. What a great segway!

Work less.  I love what I do, yet still don’t want to do any one thing for 60 hours a week.  Moreover, most of us work to make money to buy the things we mistakenly think we need.  Even the “basic necessities” like food, exercise, a car, and housing, are not necessarily must-haves, let alone $200 shoes or the bi-monthly mani/pedi’s. 

I

t’s important to do a cost/benefit analysis of a job.  Is it really worth the $100k salary, or about $60k after taxes, if you need to spend that entire $60k (or more) on:

· driving two hours a day

· owning a big house and fancy car, and all that it takes to maintain them

· eating out

· working out at the health club

· rewarding ourselves with all those things we need to de-stress?

Even if you consider it in purely financial terms, and don’t consider the value of time, how much money you make is not what’s important. How much money you have left is.  Like the exercise-eat-exercise hamster wheel, the harder we work, the more we spend.  I’ve found that working 30 hours per week is ideal, and I actually have more money (and time) left over than when I worked 50-60 hours per week.

Many people have no choice to work at least 40 to 50 hours per week due to the expectations of their employers.  I suggest you challenge that assumption.  But if you feel it’s necessary to work that much, make the most of the few remaining hours in the day. Imagine how much extra time you’d have if you lived 10 minutes from work, or didn’t go to the gym each day, or get your car gassed-up or washed.

Do these “less-ims” create a less-than life?  Quite the opposite.  They create MORE - more time to do the things that are meaningful such as spending quality time with friends and family, laughing, conversing, enjoying the outdoors, reading, sleeping, and the occasional splurge.  Ironically, these things are virtually free.  All of these “less-isms” have exponential effects on the quality of our life and our environment.